The word conflict often conjures up adverse reactions and emotions. We have experienced this in society where conflicting ideologies, social and global unrest have undermined trust and created divisiveness at levels unseen before. Within organizations, unmanaged conflict can erode teamwork and trust which are required to sustain a healthy culture.
Conflict usually occurs when:
- People perceive some threat to their well-being.
- There is a deeply held belief being questioned.
- Someone feels they stand to lose something or not get something that is important to them.
- An idea or opinion, or point of view is being challenged
Let’s face it, most people don’t want to engage in conflict. Its influence can be far-reaching as it can negatively impact mental health, cognitive abilities, emotional well-being, physical health and productivity. As adults, though, we recognize that we can’t avoid conflict and we need the skills not just to resolve it, but also leverage the upsides that conflict can produce.
There are two sides to conflict, and we typically go to the downsides or negative impacts first including things like wasted time, emotional exchanges, shattered trust/relationships, slower decision-making, etc. Conflict can turn destructive when focused on personal tensions, personalities and even egos.
While we may want to avoid or eliminate conflict at all costs, doing so results in losing out on an opportunity to leverage its upsides or positive impact. Handled correctly, conflict brings diverse perspectives to the surface, spurs innovation, generates energy and collaboration, better and more informed decision making and builds levels of trust by feeling safe to challenge.
If we want to experience the positive impact of conflict, what is the most appropriate way to manage it? In our work with clients, we provide them with a 5-step approach to resolving simple and complex conflict situations.
Explore to Understand
The first step in resolving conflict is understanding it from all parties involved through exploratory conversations. This is where active listening and agile learning skills are necessary to understand the heart of the conflict. Active listening is critical to understanding perspectives, points of view, sources of conflict, etc. Agile learning allows you to quickly make meaning of what you observe and hear and be willing and able to ignore any preconceived ideas you have about both the nature of the conflict and the potential resolution.
When dealing with conflict it is essential to move beyond an individual’s “position,” or the stand individuals take. What is more important is understanding the “interests” of all parties…what’s underneath their position or stand. Through active listening and agile learning, we can find mutual interest to create potential resolutions.
Set Expectations
In a situation where conflict arises, it’s vital to create ground rules that allow an environment where effective dialogue can exist. The goal is to create a win/win outcome. Your ground rules should emphasize the importance of respect when engaging with each other, the need for active listening and the impact of body language and tone of voice play in successfully working through conflict. Additionally, individuals should create a common framework to evaluate potential options that supports finding a solution that drives the desired outcomes.
Create Dialogue
Dialogue aims to achieve mutual understanding, find common ground and develop better solutions together. It is important that everyone involved can share their perspective in defining the problem and getting to the root of the conflict. This requires suspending judgment on a position and collaborating to learn from each other. Dialogue is the way to get to win/win solutions through collaborative problem-solving, maintaining open minds and the willingness to find common ground.
Brainstorm Solutions
A critical element in finding a resolution is that the outcome is “owned” by the people involved. We often describe it as individuals having their fingerprints on the solution. Effective brainstorming involves examining mutual interests, seeking and offering suggestions and ensuring all parties are involved. It is necessary to create a “safe” space where everyone can offer their ideas without judgment or criticism.
Reach Resolution
Now, it’s time for the group to review the options that surfaced and eliminate those that each person deems unacceptable. Next the parties can move on to the remaining options and identify the most promising ones to develop further. The next step is to leverage the agreed upon framework to evaluate the remaining options to get to the solution. At this point, it is important to determine everyone’s role in the solution and acknowledge and preserve the relationships in finding the resolution.
When conflict is embraced as an opportunity for learning and growth, it has the potential to significantly strengthen organizational culture. It invites us to reconsider the narrative surrounding conflict – to see it not as a source of division, but as a tool to create deeper understanding, innovation and connection. A study by CPP, Inc revealed that 85% of employees must deal with conflict to some degree and 36% of respondents from the US reported doing so “always” or “frequently.” Those statistics alone point to the need to develop the skills necessary to navigate conflict in the most efficient and effective way possible. When organizations embrace equipping their employees with the skills to create the upside of conflict, the impact is exponential.
